This is how it should be!

Hi guys!!! Sorry I haven't posted in so long I was doing kind of badly but now I'm doing so much better!!!
I had 200 calories over the weekend (Saturday+Sunday!) and the Monday I had 500kcal, Tuesday 800kcal and yesterday 700kcal :D

Okay so I know it's not as low as when I was managing to eat less than 400 a day but I just don't seem to have the strengh to do that anymore! I've become quite weak :(

Weight wise I'm the same as ever, fluctuating between 100-103lbs!! Will I ever lose weight?!?! I live in hope

Thanks for all the support you guys give me :) I find it really helps
Ta ta for now!!

Xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

I got beeped!

Hi guys!!! So the past about 3 days have been great! I've been exercising loads and not going over 600 calories a day :D after my masssssssiiiiivvvveeee binge I gained a ton of weight, I was back up to about 107 pound! But I weighed myself this morning and I'm back down to 102! :D I'm gonna weigh myself tmoz too cuz I hope I've lost another pound today :D
I went shopping earlier and I was wearing a little crop top and low rise jeans (I was having a good day!) and as I was walking into town I got hooted at TWICE! by guys in their cars :D I was so happy! I was like YES GO EMMA! Haha
While I was down town I got myself a pair of KILLER leopard print high heels! They look stunning, who cares if I can only walk for 5min in them without collapsing :P
I also bought a skimpy lacy leotard type top from miss selfridges and a pair of red trousers :D
And! I got my eyebrows threaded! I've never touched my eyebrows before (to scared) but for just a fiver!! (there was a discount on) I got them shaped :D I'm really happy with them though it hurt a bit more than I thought it would :/
That's all for now
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Oops I did it again :/

Hi guys! So I haven't blogged in ages!! And while I've been away I've been ill and unfortunately whilst I've been ill I've also been binging. Terribly. It's been dreadful, I've been eating tons and tons of chocolate and all sorts!
But I'm trying to get back on track now, I haven't dared looked at the scales yet but I think I must have gained at least 3/4 pounds :'( so I'm going to have to try and lose that again :/
I'm doing well so far today though :) I've been horse riding and burnt off 200 calories and then all I've eaten all day is some toast with nutella and an egg White, so that's only 70calories!! :D and if I don't eat anything till dinner and eat my dinner I'll only have had around 270 calories all day :)
It feels good to be back back :D
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Omg! Realisation!

Hi guys! I made an important discovery today! I do actually have an eating disorder! Okay so i know it's weird but I've been thinking that oh I'm only on a diet I can stop any time I want. I was wrong. To prove to myself that I wasn't really 'ill' I decided to eat some chocolate. Well after I'd eaten it I felt horrible and sick and bloated, I just couldn't deal so I ran upstairs and purged! I then did lots of exercise to burn off 240 calories just incase any was left in me!
It was then I realised I do have an ED and there is no turning back now, at least not easily!
But oh well! So day 5 of ABC today I was meant to have 100calories but unfortunately I went over by 64cal! :( but seeing as that is the least I've eaten I'm still quite proud of myself :)
Catch up with you soon
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Fainting! :O

Hi guys! So I thought you'd all like to know that on day 4 of the ABC diet I passed out! I'd just been horseriding for around 40min and I got off the horse to watch my mum have her 40min lesson. As I stood there watching I got all dizzy and found it hard to breathe and collapsed on the floor!
My horse riding instructor was shocked! She looked down and saw me pass out on the floor, she quickly shouted for me mum to come, so my mum cantered over as fast as she could. I came round after about 20seconds and my instructor got me a drink.
They decided to cut my mums lesson short so she could take me home. I was fine after 5min or so, I just felt back to normal! I've never passed out before in my life and it was quite a scary experience!
But anyway, my intake for today was meant to be 400 calories (did I write yesterday's abc intake wrong?) but I only had 23calories. I did eat 350 but then I burnt them off by horseriding and going for a walk :)
Omg! And guess what?!?!? I weigh exactly 7stone now! That's like 99pounds :) I'm so happy!
But now because I'm slimmer I'm finding it harder to lose weight quickly, it can take me 3/4 days just to lose a pound!!! Has this happened to anyone else???
Anyway that's all for now, cya tmoz
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Scared of the numbers! :S

Hi guys! So today I've had 350calories which is slightly below the 400 I was meant to have today but oh well!
My online counsellor on Kooth has been trying to persuade me to go to my GP about my issues but after thinking about it I've decided not too as ana makes me too happy :) and I don't want to change yet!
But I got a bit scared today when I thought about how much normal people eat, 2000 calories! That's loads! And I realised that if I ever saw the number 1000 on my calorie counter I would literally cry! That scared me a bit cuz I realised I shouldnt be scared by food and calories but I am and there's nothing I can do about it!
Oh well that's what happened on day 3 of ABC
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

2nd day of ABC

Hi guys! So I'm on the second day if the ABC diet today :) so that means I'm allowed 500 calories or less today :)
I ate slightly over 500 calories (oops) but then by exercising in my room I burnt off 301 calories so in the end I've only ended up with 310 :) which im very happy with :)
If you're wondering why I ate so much it's because my nab baked a cake and wanted me to try a piece (arrrgh!) so even though I only had a small piece it had A LOT of calories on it :(
Tomorrow I'm allowed 300 calories and because I'm going kickboxing tmoz I'm going to burn off 400+ calories! So I'm feeling pretty confident about tomorrow :)
Until next time, bye!
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*