This is how it should be!

Hi guys!!! Sorry I haven't posted in so long I was doing kind of badly but now I'm doing so much better!!!
I had 200 calories over the weekend (Saturday+Sunday!) and the Monday I had 500kcal, Tuesday 800kcal and yesterday 700kcal :D

Okay so I know it's not as low as when I was managing to eat less than 400 a day but I just don't seem to have the strengh to do that anymore! I've become quite weak :(

Weight wise I'm the same as ever, fluctuating between 100-103lbs!! Will I ever lose weight?!?! I live in hope

Thanks for all the support you guys give me :) I find it really helps
Ta ta for now!!

Xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

I got beeped!

Hi guys!!! So the past about 3 days have been great! I've been exercising loads and not going over 600 calories a day :D after my masssssssiiiiivvvveeee binge I gained a ton of weight, I was back up to about 107 pound! But I weighed myself this morning and I'm back down to 102! :D I'm gonna weigh myself tmoz too cuz I hope I've lost another pound today :D
I went shopping earlier and I was wearing a little crop top and low rise jeans (I was having a good day!) and as I was walking into town I got hooted at TWICE! by guys in their cars :D I was so happy! I was like YES GO EMMA! Haha
While I was down town I got myself a pair of KILLER leopard print high heels! They look stunning, who cares if I can only walk for 5min in them without collapsing :P
I also bought a skimpy lacy leotard type top from miss selfridges and a pair of red trousers :D
And! I got my eyebrows threaded! I've never touched my eyebrows before (to scared) but for just a fiver!! (there was a discount on) I got them shaped :D I'm really happy with them though it hurt a bit more than I thought it would :/
That's all for now
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Oops I did it again :/

Hi guys! So I haven't blogged in ages!! And while I've been away I've been ill and unfortunately whilst I've been ill I've also been binging. Terribly. It's been dreadful, I've been eating tons and tons of chocolate and all sorts!
But I'm trying to get back on track now, I haven't dared looked at the scales yet but I think I must have gained at least 3/4 pounds :'( so I'm going to have to try and lose that again :/
I'm doing well so far today though :) I've been horse riding and burnt off 200 calories and then all I've eaten all day is some toast with nutella and an egg White, so that's only 70calories!! :D and if I don't eat anything till dinner and eat my dinner I'll only have had around 270 calories all day :)
It feels good to be back back :D
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Omg! Realisation!

Hi guys! I made an important discovery today! I do actually have an eating disorder! Okay so i know it's weird but I've been thinking that oh I'm only on a diet I can stop any time I want. I was wrong. To prove to myself that I wasn't really 'ill' I decided to eat some chocolate. Well after I'd eaten it I felt horrible and sick and bloated, I just couldn't deal so I ran upstairs and purged! I then did lots of exercise to burn off 240 calories just incase any was left in me!
It was then I realised I do have an ED and there is no turning back now, at least not easily!
But oh well! So day 5 of ABC today I was meant to have 100calories but unfortunately I went over by 64cal! :( but seeing as that is the least I've eaten I'm still quite proud of myself :)
Catch up with you soon
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Fainting! :O

Hi guys! So I thought you'd all like to know that on day 4 of the ABC diet I passed out! I'd just been horseriding for around 40min and I got off the horse to watch my mum have her 40min lesson. As I stood there watching I got all dizzy and found it hard to breathe and collapsed on the floor!
My horse riding instructor was shocked! She looked down and saw me pass out on the floor, she quickly shouted for me mum to come, so my mum cantered over as fast as she could. I came round after about 20seconds and my instructor got me a drink.
They decided to cut my mums lesson short so she could take me home. I was fine after 5min or so, I just felt back to normal! I've never passed out before in my life and it was quite a scary experience!
But anyway, my intake for today was meant to be 400 calories (did I write yesterday's abc intake wrong?) but I only had 23calories. I did eat 350 but then I burnt them off by horseriding and going for a walk :)
Omg! And guess what?!?!? I weigh exactly 7stone now! That's like 99pounds :) I'm so happy!
But now because I'm slimmer I'm finding it harder to lose weight quickly, it can take me 3/4 days just to lose a pound!!! Has this happened to anyone else???
Anyway that's all for now, cya tmoz
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Scared of the numbers! :S

Hi guys! So today I've had 350calories which is slightly below the 400 I was meant to have today but oh well!
My online counsellor on Kooth has been trying to persuade me to go to my GP about my issues but after thinking about it I've decided not too as ana makes me too happy :) and I don't want to change yet!
But I got a bit scared today when I thought about how much normal people eat, 2000 calories! That's loads! And I realised that if I ever saw the number 1000 on my calorie counter I would literally cry! That scared me a bit cuz I realised I shouldnt be scared by food and calories but I am and there's nothing I can do about it!
Oh well that's what happened on day 3 of ABC
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

2nd day of ABC

Hi guys! So I'm on the second day if the ABC diet today :) so that means I'm allowed 500 calories or less today :)
I ate slightly over 500 calories (oops) but then by exercising in my room I burnt off 301 calories so in the end I've only ended up with 310 :) which im very happy with :)
If you're wondering why I ate so much it's because my nab baked a cake and wanted me to try a piece (arrrgh!) so even though I only had a small piece it had A LOT of calories on it :(
Tomorrow I'm allowed 300 calories and because I'm going kickboxing tmoz I'm going to burn off 400+ calories! So I'm feeling pretty confident about tomorrow :)
Until next time, bye!
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

ABC!

Hi guys!!! So I've been doing quite well recently I've been having 500 calories or less (apart from yesterday, let's not even think about that day!) but now that I'm going back to school (noooooo!) I've decided to start the ABC diet :) you all know it, it's a 50 plan that varies the amount of calories you have each day from 0 to 500, one day is even 800!
I was wondering if any ones tried it and how much weight they lost? :)
I'm not sure if there are rules for exercising so I'm just gonna continue exercising as normal and hope that's alright :)
Guess what? I'm on the pill! Lol I went to the doctors cuz I have bad spots and my periods very irregular and she said try the pill! So there we go, I take the first one on Thursday :)
Oh and she also said I'm underweight and need to eat more (LOL!) and she also thinks I might be anaemic so I'm going for a blood test on Friday!
So yer that's all that's been happening really!
Cya soon
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Exercise!

Hi guys!! So it's 1:30am and you're probably wondering why the fuck I'm not asleep yet?! Well let me tell you that later on today my great nan is coming round and I will be forced to eat a big roast dinner :(
So I decided I better make sure I've burned off every single calorie I ate yesterday, so I went to bed. I waited till everyone was asleep so I didn't get caught and I've spent the last 35min burning off 350calories :)
Vigorous step ups 20min = -220 calories
running 7mph 15min = -130calories
I've decided I'm going to try and do this workout every night, it's quick, it's quiet and it works! The only downside is that it is extremely boring! I may have to add in a few more exercises to spice in up some other night :)
So the scale (long live the scale :p ) says I'm now 99.2 pounds and I do not want to go back over 100, ever!!!

Wish me luck
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Rainy old England!

Hiii guys!!! So I got home to England to find it was raining, what a surprise! Lol but I got home and fell straight asleep cuz it was about 3am bye the time we made it back!
But when I got up in the morning I went straight to the scale and weighed myself, I'm 100pounds according to the scale! But! Guess what?? I have always been worried the scales have been wrong and making me weigh thinner than I was really was but that's not true! The scales actually show you to be heavy than you really are!!! :D
So I think I'm really like less than 100pounds! :D so happy!!!!

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

France :D

Hi guys!! I'm in France at the moment and it is BOILING HOT! I'm wearing shorts all the time and I'm still dying from heat!
I'm doing well food wise, im eating very little and exercising loads!! Im not sure how much I weigh because they don't have scales were I'm staying but I'm looking forward to weighing myself when I get home :)
I've started managing to hide food at the dinner table, I use a couple of different methods:
1) taking a huge bite and then going the toilet and spitting it out
2) hiding food in my napkin and getting rid of it later
These are working well but I was wondering if you guys had any others that I could try?
Oh and another thing! Do any of you ever get a bit light headed? Do you know how to stop it because I keep feeling like I'm going to faint! :/
Thanks xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Chippy!!!

Hi guys!!! So I spent the day at my boyfriends house with the gang :) there were only 7 of us today though cuz a lot of my friends are on holiday :)
I went for another run this morning before I went and then I told my mum I'd eat lunch there so I skipped lunch :) but then the others decided to go out to THE CHIPPY!!!!
I shared a portion of chips with my friend and didn't eat very many but I still had about 200calories!!!
So I exercised a lot and made sure that my total number of calories for today was alright :)
And it is! My total number= 38!! :D
Oh and I lost another pound from yesterday when I weighed myself this morning :D
When I got back home I was so close the having a biscuit! I got one out the cupboard and looked at it for ages! But I summoned up the will power and put it back in the cupboard and had an apple instead :D
I may not be able to post for a few days now cuz I'm going on holiday but I'll try!
Xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Curry day?!

Hi guys!!! So today I ate too much, I had a weetabix for breakfast, a chIcken tikka sandwich for lunch and then for tea lamb curry! What's with all the curry meals?!
But on the bright side, because I did loads of exercise and didn't eat too much tea my total calories = 173!
That's really not bad and I weighed myself this morning to found I lost a pound from yesterday :D I'm hoping by tmoz I'll have lost another pound too! Fingers crossed xxxx

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Ana buddy :)

Hi guys!!! So I weighed myself today and I weighed 102lb!!! :'( so this morning I went on a 45min run before breakfast, then I had one dry weetabix and that's all I'm having all day :D I've skipped lunch and dinner so overall net calories =-174!
I'm back on track and have found an ana buddy! :) she's same age as me and lives in the UK but in 5weeks shes moving to Australia!
She's very nice and we motivate each other and share tips, we've both decided to lose 15pounds in 4 weeks which we think we can easily do :D
Catcha later
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Holiday!

Hi guys!! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, I went to Belgium with my family to visit some friends over there :) it was great for exercise, I did walking and swimming and cycling and had a fab time :D
But! SO MUCH FOOD!!! I ate and I ate and I ate!! I gained 3 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( :'( :'(
So I'm going on a very strict diet now, I'm eating an apple and half of whatever I have for tea, and I'll make sure there is lots of vegetables and not too much meat!
I'm so depressed, it kind of spoiled my holiday :(

Stat strong
xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Start over!

Hiiiii guys! Ok I admit it I failed :/ I totally binged and binged and binged, the amount of chocolate I've eaten is truly gross! I'm back up to 100 pounds now, which isn't actually so bad! I was terrified before stepping on the scales because I was sure the needle would just keep going up and up and up! But hey I've only gained a few pounds!
But I'm starting a fresh! By the time I go back to school on September 7th I want to have got down to my weight goal and maybe beyond :D
I'm sorry for failing you guys :')
Stay strong! Do what I couldn't!
Bye
Xoxo


*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Stopped?!

Hi guys!! So I haven't blogged in ages and to be honest it's because I haven't been doing to well with my diet! I ate around 830 calories today which could be worse but it could be a lot better!!
But I weighed myself today and found I haven't gained or lost weight?! How does that work?
But I'm back on track now and I'm determined to lose a bit more before I go away on holiday to France in about 2weeks :)
Wish me luck
Xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful.*

Running

Hi guys!! :) I've decided to start running more regulary because I really enjoy doing it! The only problem I have is getting off my ass and going out because I'm just that laszy!!!!
But I went running with my mum today, we went very slow cuz I'm not very fit! I think we were going about 1 mile every 10min which I know is slow but I'm a beginner! :)
So I managed to run all the way this time which was about a 35min run so only 3 1/2 miles but I was really chuffed because last time I went running I died after 15min and had to take a break!!!!
So my total number of calories today= 625 which isn't bad but could be better!
I'm not sure how much I weigh because I'm trying to limit the amount of times I weigh myself because my weight always seems to fluctuate :/
Haha on Wednesday in my biology lesson we got given a BMI healthy weight table thing and according to that I am underweight!! :D but I said my weight was higher than it really was because I didnt want people giving me funny looks so I said I was 107 pounds, that put me right on the healthy weight!
Cya soon guys xxx

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

My girlfriend!

Hi guys!! So today I had 635calories and that was after I'd gone kickboxing for an hour! So my number of calories was a bit high today :/
My girlfriend found out about my blog! Ok so I was in a very depressed mood, I get these sometimes and I've self harmed in the past :(
So I was ranting to her about how nobody knows the real me...blah...blah...blah! Basically a whole pile of shit that just seemed to be coming out of me! And I mentioned this blog and she read it and she's not happy :/ like really not impressed and kinda worried! So I'm not sure what to do now :S


Thanks for all your support guys xxxx


*only the dead are truly beautiful*

angela- I'm not really on a proper diet, ive tried the ABC one before but I couldn't stick to it :/ now I just try and eat breakfast, a small lunch and a small tea with no stacks in between and not a lot of fatty foods or calories!!

~christy~ - thanks for all the support! I'm so happy that I'm almost there! XD and thanks for the tips about parents, I'm definitely gonna use them! :)

I love this diet!!

Hi guys!! :) my diets going really great at the mo and I've lost another 2 pounds so now I'm 5ft 4 and weigh 98 pounds giving me a bmi of 16.8!!!!! XD I'm so happy and I no longer get as hungry as I did at the start :D today I had 534 calories and I feel FAB!! :D
Speak soon xxx

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

100!!!!!!! XD

Hi guys!!! This is a really short post to say, I REACHED 100 POUNDS!!!!
I'm 5ft 4 and weigh 100 pounds giving me a bmi of 17.2!!!! XD
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 5 pounds left till my goal weight!!!!
But to be honest I'm thinking of lowering my gw to 90 pounds, what do you think?! :D
Stay strong guys xxxxxx

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Thank god!!

Hi guys!!
I know I haven't posted in ages and that's cuz I've been gaining :'( but now I'm back to 101 pounds!!! YAY!!! :D
So not much has been happening really, my bf cane over today! It was the first time he'd met my parents and it was quite awkward! But it went ok in the end! :D
That's all I have to say really!
Stay strong
XxxxxxX

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Parents! :/

Hi guys! I'm not doing so great on my diet :/ yesterday was above a 1000 calories (I cried too) and today's in the 800s!!!
I'm having a hard time eating less with my parents round so if anyone has any tips at all please comment below! I don't wanna be fat :'(

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Nails!!!

Hi guys!! Ok so for allllllll my life I've bitten my nails but a few months ago I decided to stop for the final time and now I have the most beautiful long nails in the world!!! :D I'm actually in love with them and bought my self to more nail polishes today as a little well done treat :D
So, if I can be strong enough to stop biting my nails I can also be strong enough to lose weight!! :D I can do it :) I'm still the sane weight as yesterday (that's not really surprising lol :p ) but I'm planning on losing about 2/3 pounds next week :)
my total number of calories for today is 390!!! I'm not complaining there!! :D

Oh and ive also started planning how to tell my parents I'm bisexual (no hate!) any ideas? :)
Love you all xxx and heelllloooo to my new followers you guys rock! <3

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Again?!

Ok so I was ill again today :/ I went in to school and 1/2 an hour before my exam I threw up!! :( but I had to do the exam anyway! So I took it and then went home :) IT WAS SOOO HARD :(
Anyway because I'm not having anything else to eat today so my total calories for today is 546 :)

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

~christy~ thanks hun, I think the exam went ok but it was really hard especially because I wasn't feeling very well! :/ oh and I'm 5ft 4 :) how tall are you? xx

Be careful what you wish for!!

Hi guys :) remember me saying in my last post that I felt like I needed to purge? Well I got my wish....kinda :/ I've been ill these past few days and been throwing up left right and centre! :( it hasn't been pleasant!!
I wouldn't go in tmoz but I have a gcse English exam which I can't miss so I'll just have to grin and bare it :/
On a much more positive note my total no. of calories today is 569 :) so thats ok :) ooh and I've lost a tad more weight and now weigh 101 pounds!! :D
I'm getting so excited about how close I am to my goal of 95lb, I'm only 6 pounds off!!!!! :D

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

:)

Hi guys!! So I think the exam went ok today, I hope I got an A but I'm not sure :/ but oh well!! Biology tomorrow, I haven't revised tonight though because I had TONS of Maths homework :( I hate Maths!!

So total calorie intake for today was HUGE!!! I swear I've gained about 4 pounds!! I haven't weighed myself and no way am I going to tonight!! :O
My friends are the issue, if you don't eat or don't eat much they instantly become really suspicious and cause a huge fuss if you don't eat :/
I feel so fat and disgusting and I would purge except I'm too scared too!! I think I'm going to fast tomorrow to make up for it today :/

~Christy~ thanks for all your support your so nice :) my exam went ok thanks. But after today I think my 95 pound goal is a little further away than before :/ xx

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Exams!! :(

Hi guys :) I'm like happy and sad today!! I'm happy because I only had 399cals today which is so much better than I have been doing :) and also I weighed myself tonight, after I'd just had something for tea and guess what?! I weigh 102 pounds!!!! :D <3 i've lost about 10 pounds since I started this diet and that wasn't even a week ago!!!! (ok so that's probs not healthy, but who cares?! :D )
Oh yeah the sad bit! It's the last day of the hols today and I have exams into the 21st June. My first one is tomorrow and it's business studies :( then on Tuesday I have biology and then on Friday I have English and after that I forget :/ I have geography, chemistry, physics and then my last exam is Maths on the 21st! :(
That's like a month of exams!! :O I well at least I'm closer to my 95 pound weight goal!! :D
Love you all xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Piercing?

Hi guys! I'm not even gonna talk about my calorie intake for today (and I thought yesterday was bad?! :'( ) anyway I'm trying to decide what piercing to get out of
1) Tongue
2) belly button
3) Monroe
4) snake bites

Do you guys have any ideas? You can see my profile pic which do you think would look the nicest? Thanks guys xx

Oh and thanks for all the comments yesterday you guys are so supportive and kind <3 I don't know what I'd do without you xoxo

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Oh crap!

I always eat too much! I do so well and then I just eat and eat and eat and I'm too scared to purge because sick makes me sick! I've had a total of 683cal today!! And some of that was stuff like pork pies (my weakness) and shortbread mixture!! :'(
I feel so fat and horrible! My no. of calories would have been in the 1000s but I did a lot of exercise to try and burn it off! Why am I so pathetic, weak and FAT?! :'(

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Faaatttt

Hi guys :) today I went shopping with my mum and bought some blue converse!!! Their really cool and sooo practical! I'm so happy with them! <3
But OMG!! you would not believe how much food I ate today!!! OMG! I feel so faaatttt!!! :'( but to be honest, my overall calories didn't turn out that bad as I did a lot of exercise today too :D so here we go:
1/2 a weetabix (dry) = 67cal
Hoisin duck wrap :'( = 390cal!!!!
Pizza and starters = 531! OMFG!
Club biscuit = 115cal
Drinks = 93cal
But I did
Kickboxing = -513cal
Walking for 2hrs = -254

Meaning today's total no. of calories = 429!
It's not too bad but I feel so full and so fat! Pizza and a duck wrap WTF was I thinking?! I feel like throwing it all back up :'(

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

Too much!

So today we had to go to school even though it's the holidays over here! :( it wasn't so bad though we only had to stay until 11:30 and then me and my friends went down town to watch the hangover 2!! :D it was so funny! I've never laughed so much in my life. And then afterwards my girlfriend came back to mine (I'm bi by the way) and we went for a nice walk along the beach :) but I had a bit too much to eat today and I feel sick :'( I've eaten:
1/2 a weetabix (dry) = 67cal
1/2 a cheese and onion pasty :( = 190cal
Chicken stir fry D: = 813cal
2 cups of tea = 22cal
Walking for 85min = -209cal
Sit ups for 10min = -66cal

No. of calories = 817cal :(
I feel like crying now! I've eaten wayyyy to much :(

*only the dead are truly beautiful*

My first post :)

Hiii guys :) Im Emma and this blogs gonna be about me and my new weight loss plan! I'm 5ft4 at the moment and i weight 8 stone (112lb) and i feel like a whale! So i've decided i need to lose some weight and i want to get down to around 100lb to start with :) i know that doesnt seem like much but i have no self control :( today is my first day of dieting. And today I've eaten:
1/2 a plain weetabix for breakfast (no milk) = 67cal
1 1/2 rounds of toast for lunch = 97cal
3 1/2 cups of tea with a little bit of semi skimmed milk= 39cal
Cup of orange juice =110cal
1 Fajita (chicken,onion,peppers,hot sauce =167cal

And then I did kickboxing for an hour and burned 513cal!! :)
So my total calories for today= -33!!! :D omg! It's a minus number!! I'm so happy!!

I'm very happy so far :) I know im gonna find it quite hard though cuz im only 15 and i live with my parents so if anyone has any tips for losing weight without your parents knowing I'd be very grateful :)

*Only the dead are truely beautiful*

Thinspiration <3